Of late, we have conflicting reports on whether property prices in Singapore will continue to go up or start sliding downwards. Conflicting data have been presented, and the man in the street is getting very confused.

My opinion is that the property market and rentals will dip or stay sideways for a short while before going up again. Land is limited, and folks just keep on coming to Singapore for work and play.

Also, people with vested interests will skew their articles and arguments depending which side they are on. Data can also be skewed of course. A half glass of water can be said to be half full or half empty,right?

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One must not lose desires. They are mighty stimulants to creativeness, to love, and to long life. Alexander A. Bogomoletz

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“I was married 3 times” explained the woman to a guy at a bar, “and
I’ll never marry again. My first 2 husbands died of eating poison
mushrooms and my 3rd hubby died of a fractured skull.”

“That’s a shame.” said her friend , “How did it happen?”

“He wouldn’t eat the mushrooms.”

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A man had just been laid off from work. He was standing on the railing of a high bridge getting ready to jump off, when he happened to look down and see a little man with no arms dancing all around on the river bank below.

He thought, “Life isn’t so bad after all,” and got off the railing.

He then walked down to the river bank to thank the little man for saving his life.

“Thank you,” he said. “I was going to jump off that bridge and kill myself, but when I saw you dancing even though you have no arms, I changed my mind.”

“Dancing? I’m not dancing!” the armless man replied bitterly … “My asshole itches, and I can’t scratch it!”

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Are you buying when you should be selling? Selling when you should be buying? How many times have you bought a stock for the long term, and it drops significantly right after you buy? Had you waited just a few more weeks, you could have picked up a lot more shares at a much lower price. Or have you ever sold a stock, only to watch it rebound strongly and climb well above your selling price?

Buy shares only when the stock market is in extremely oversold positions like the recent correction in early July when the market was oversold by 1268 points and sell shares only when the stock markets turn extremely overbought positions. These are the times you make money from your stock investment and you just won’t know it until later on.

Some smart traders choose to buy ahead on those good companies who are going to announce their quarterly results in 2-3 weeks time and sell them to make quick profit either on days before its result announcement date or on its actual day of announcement, to profit from the good news brought about from its result announcement.

Many novice investors usually buy shares based on companies announced results without realising that these news are already historical. They failed to understand the flaw in treating past earnings as a statement of potential. Have a planned strategy for your stocks trading and investment.

Be a smart trader or risk giving up your money to other market players in this money making or losing game.

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My girlfriend and I were dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way; my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!

There was only one thing bothering me, quite much indeed, and that was my mother-in-law to be. She was a career woman, smart, but most of all beautiful and sexy, who sometimes flirted me, which made me feel uncomfortable.

One day she called me and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. So I went. She was alone, and when I arrived, she whispered to me, that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t overcome. So before I got married and committed my life to her daughter, she wanted to make love to me just once.

What could I say? I was in total shock, and couldn’t say a word. So, she said, “I’ll go to the bedroom, and if you are up for it, just come and get me.” I just watched her delicious behind as she went up the stairs.

I stood there for a moment, and then turned around and went to the front door… I opened it, and stepped out of the house.

Her husband was standing outside, and with tears in his eyes, hugged me and said, “We are very happy and pleased, you have passed our little test. We couldn’t have asked for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family!”

Moral of the story? Always keep your condoms in the car.

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A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the counter.

She started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, “You know that fur coat you promised me Irving?”

She answered by saying, “I bought it with the insurance money!”

She then said, “Irving, remember that new car you promised me?”

She answered again saying, “Well, I bought it with the insurance money!”

Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said, “Irving remember that blow job I promised you?

Here it comes …”

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Q. What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common?

A. They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you’re screwed.

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A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very ornery, and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorilla species available.

While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed Mike, an employee responsible for cleaning the animals cages. Mike, it was rumored, possessed ample ability to satisfy any female, but he wasn’t very bright.

So, the zoo administrators thought they might have a solution. Mike was approached with a proposition: “Would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla for five hundred bucks?” Mike showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.

The following day, Mike announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions. “First,” he said, “I don’t want to have to kiss her. Secondly, I want nothing to do with any offspring that may result from this union.”

The zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked what was his third condition.

“Well,” said Mike, “you’ve gotta give me another week to come up with the five hundred bucks.”

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THE Housing and Development Board (HDB) has announced that its Resale Price Index rose by 4.5 per cent in Q2 2008 over the previous quarter and 8.4 per cent since Q4 2007.

The number of resale transactions also increased by 22 per cent quarter on quarter to hit 7,760 transactions.

On a half-yearly basis, a total of 14,120 transactions have been recorded so far, almost half of the 29,450 transactions for the whole of 2007.

The HDB Resale Price Index is now hovering very close to the all-time peak in Q4 1996, boosted by high resale prices in estates like Queenstown and Bukit Merah where the median price for five-room flats is now around $600,000.

It is also believed the influx of new permanent residents (PRs) here has added to the demand for resale flats.

Various estimates put the figures at 20 per cent of PR buyers, up from 10-12 per cent a year ago.

It is worthwhile to note the HDB Resale Price Index has begun to diverge from the private property price index, which grew by just 0.2 per cent in Q2 2008.

Who knows… public housing will continue to be resilient while the private housing sector remains quiet for the next couple of quarters.

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