When the store manager returned from lunch, he
noticed his clerk’s hand was bandaged, but before
he could ask about the bandage, the clerk said he
had some very good news for him.

“Guess what, sir?” the clerk said. “I finally sold that
terrible, ugly suit we’ve had so long!”

“Do you mean that repulsive pink-and-blue
double-breasted thing?” the manager asked.

“That’s the one!”

That’s great!” the manager cried, “I thought we’d never
get rid of that monstrosity! That had to be the ugliest
suit we’ve ever had! But tell me. Why is your hand
bandaged?”

“Oh,” the clerk replied, “after I sold the guy that suit,
his guide dog bit me.”

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A man took his wife to a Broadway show. During the play he become
strangely aroused and decided to go to the bathroom to masturbate, so
he hurried to find the bathrooms.

He searched in vain for the rest rooms, but instead, all he found was a
beautiful fountain with foliage.

Nobody was watching, so he dropped his pants and masturbated furiously.
When he finally got back into the auditorium, he searched in the dark
until he found his wife. “Did I miss much of the second act?” he asked.

“Miss it?” she said, “You were starring in it!”

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