Before & After

Before:  You take my breath away
After:   I feel like I’m suffocating

Before:  Twice a night
After:   Twice a month

Before:  She says she loves the way I take control of a situation
After:   She called me a controling, manipulative, egomaniac

Before:  Saturday night fever
After:   Monday night football

Before:  He makes me feel like a millon dollars
After:   If I had a dime for every stupid thing he’s done…

Before:  Is that all your having?
After:   Maybe you should have just a salad, honey

Before:  Its like I’m living in a dream
After:   Its like he lives in a dorm

Before:  $60/doz.
After:   $1.50/stem

Before:  We agree on everything
After:   Doesn’t she have a mind of her own?

Before:  Victoria secret
After:   Fruit of the loom

Before:  Feathers and handcuffs
After:   Ball and chain

Before:  I love a woman with curves
After:   I never said you were fat

Before:  He’s completely lost without me
After:   Why won’t he ever ask for directions?

Before:  Time stood still
After:   This relationship is going nowhere

Before:  Croissant and cappuccino
After:   Bagel and instant coffee

Before:  Blind
After:   Nearsighted

Before:  You look so seductive in black
After:   Your clothes are so depressing

Before:  I can hardly believe we found each other
After:   I can’t believe I ended up with someone like you

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